Individualism, bad books, and conflict resolution

I’m going to talk a lot about individualism in this post, so I need to clarify that this is the individualism, the kind that just says that you can be your own person and that we all have the right to be ourselves, that I’m talking about:

individualism

–noun

1.	a social theory advocating the liberty, rights, or independent action of the individual.

2.	the principle or habit of or belief in independent thought or action.

3.	the pursuit of individual rather than common or collective interests; egoism.

4.	individual character; individuality.

5.	an individual peculiarity.

That is, rather than the more political, every-man-for-himself, no-interference type of individualism that I found was most dominant when I searched the term on Wikipedia.  I support social programs and I do believe that even as unique and special individuals we shouldn’t stomp all over the place squashing everyone who gets in our way or ignoring those in need.

Most American children are told that they can be whatever they want to be by at least one person in their life, and our culture embraces that idea as fundamental.  We are encouraged to cherish our families and friends, and to help those who are less fortunate, but all without abandoning the notion that each one of us is an individual, with special desires and thoughts and feelings and talents, rights and dislikes and dreams.  Individualism, in this sense, can be a hard concept for an American to grasp, that is, to understand why it needs a name in the first place, because it seems so natural.  To many of us, a group-oriented culture, a rigid caste system, or a culture where everything is for family honor instead of personal honor or accomplishment, can seem unnatural, cruel, and oppressive. We learn that we can dress as we wish, listen to whatever music we want, read what we want, talk how we want, even though there might be consequences.  I’ve encountered some rather oppressive art teachers in my past, so I know that they exist (also because my mom was an art teacher and is a professional artist and would totally freak out when someone told kids they had to color inside the lines in their own coloring book), but in general when painting a picture in art class it would never have occurred to me that I couldn’t use whatever color I wanted, whatever pattern I wanted, and titled my masterpiece whatever I wanted.  We learn that we can pursue whatever career we want, which is why if you ask a class of American 8-year-olds what they want to be when they grow up, you’ll hear things like, “rock star”, “movie star”, “President”, “mad scientist”, “astronaut”, “princess”, “Batman”, and “dinosaur”.  Regardless of how realistic it might be for us personally, we guard closely the notion that all things are attainable with some work and some confidence or some luck or some connection or all of the above.

Spain is by no means a rigidly group-oriented society.  The 8-year-olds in my class wear kid outfits—often mismatched, dirty, or the same shirt every single day.  There is a wide variety of professions available to Spanish students for them to pursue if they wish.  In fact, there are some aspects of Spanish culture, or at least Madrid culture, that seem more conducive to individualism than American culture.  I remember a Spanish professor here at the Complutense telling us about how Spaniards and Spanish culture will generally not try to impose their moral or religious views on you (we’ve moved on from the Inquisition, obviously), and they won’t try to meddle in your lives.  And I’ve usually found that to be true.  Rigid social cliques and hierarchies in grade schools are noticeably absent or less dominant here.  It’s normal to see motley groups of friends who in the States, at least through high school, would rarely acknowledge one another, as it seems that individual character is appreciated a little more over the need to conform to a style or look.

Still, there are things I’ve noticed here that make the American individualist inside me wince.  Earlier this year I read a terrible book that somehow won an essay award, El planeta americano (American Planet) by Vicente Verdú, an essay about the United States based on evidence gathered during his academic tenure in the U.S. on the east coast.  He introduces the book warning that it is based on his own experiences and his own experiences only, and the book is not without a few good points or observations here and there, but he goes on to make huge generalizations about American culture as a whole that are the polar opposite of the American culture my friends, family and I experienced, he mentions significant and strange statistics without citing where they came from, he makes all sorts of credibility-damaging mistakes like misspelling the major American business he’s talking about or spelling the same one three different ways throughout the book like he did with America Online.  I’ve been meaning to write a post reviewing the book but it’s kind of an overwhelming task.  Anyway, at one point in the book he writes about how the U.S. is so individualistic that we go as far as showing the name of every person that worked on a movie during the ending credits (!).  I tried to take a mental step back and consider this custom from an objective outsider’s point of view.  Maybe it was such an ingrained cultural thing that I couldn’t see it as anything but acceptable?  But if someone works on something, do they not deserve credit?  Or is that some sort of search for pride or gloating or political correctness that should be frowned upon?

I mentioned this to a friend, a Spaniard, who had read the book and had been curious to see how I felt about it (he’d suspected that it might not be the most credible source on American culture but at the time he had never been there so he wasn’t sure).  I mentioned the movie credit thing, and he didn’t bat an eye, and assented that many Spaniards view the United States as individualistic to the point of severely ignoring the community.  I think that he’s probably right about ignoring the community, but I don’t think that it’s necessarily the fault of individualism.  I think it has more to do with selfishness, gluttony and greed, without which I believe basic individualism is still possible.

But most of my wincing happens in my school.  Now, I understand that sometimes a child is supposed to follow instructions or use a certain method to produce some artwork, but I’ve noticed that, say, in their art class when my kids are supposed to draw some sort of landscape, and they draw a cloud that doesn’t look very much like a cloud (keep in mind that they’re 8 years old), the art teacher will tell them loudly in front of the class that it doesn’t look like a cloud, and hold it up for the rest of the class to show them how not to draw a cloud.  And if a child is drawing a sky and he or she decides to put a pattern in it or decides to make it pink, no matter how irrelevant it is to the assignment, he or she is likely to be asked, “Is that what the sky looks like?” and sent back to the drawing board.  When I taught my kids how to draw the traced-hand-turkey that I think is obligatory around Thanksgiving for grade schools in the U.S., I was thankful (ha) to see that the kids were not reprimanded for doing colorful and unrealistic designs on the feathers, but disappointed to see them criticized for not coloring neatly enough.  On one hand, I wondered, maybe in the U.S. we SHOULD treat art a little more like other subjects, so that kids learn to put effort into and finish a project involving something at which they might not excel.  But, wait, artistic ability is just something innate!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kid who was a terrible artist who after years of studying and practicing suddenly became an amazing one.  And you can’t stifle their creativity because… why?  I took a look at their landscape paintings, and EVERY SINGLE ONE WAS EXACTLY THE SAME.  And some of these kids are really creative.  Art is supposed to be fun, and this was, like, the most BORING art project ever.

I was also astonished one day when my teacher asked the kids if any of them wanted to be a famous actor or musician, and not ONE kid raised a hand.  Not one!  In fact, a few of them even shook their heads like it was a terrible thing to even consider.  I couldn’t believe it.  Not that every kid should have those dreams, and I understand that their home country is not the country of Hollywood, but it was just such drastic difference from kids their age in the States.

There is a point to this post beyond listing observations.  First, the lack of leeway given for creativity and the public criticism grates against my American beliefs of preventing humiliation and preserving self-esteem in school (something that Verdú did manage to reference with some decent analysis), which I will write about in another post, even though I realize that in this respect the Spanish system isn’t all bad and that there may be a happy medium between our American version and the Spanish version.  

Second, individuality often necessitates the definition and defense of oneself, which is a problem that I see in my kids.  This particular issue may be something new because my teachers complain about it, too.  I’m not sure if it starts in pre-school or in the home or both, but my kids have apparently never learned to attempt to solve a problem or a conflict by themselves, or to try and stand up for themselves (with the possible exception of the violent delinquents…of which their are many, but that’s still not an appropriate form of conflict resolution).  At recess one of my kids will inevitably get hit in the head with a soccer ball, and they will march clear across the patio just to tell us that so-and-so did it.  ”And what did you say to him?”  Blank stare.  I have never once seen one of my kids pushed around or insulted by another turn to the offender and try to defend his or herself other than making an annoyed noise.  It appears as though it doesn’t even occur to them.  

Finally, just like I never see my kids try to deal with conflicts on their own, they seem to have an inability to make their own decisions when doing assignments, a problem that I can’t help but wonder if it’s a result of a lack of encouragement to be their own person.  My kids cannot start an assignment, choose between a pen or a pencil (even though they are ALWAYS told to use a pencil), decide which way to position their paper, decide if they need to copy the date (even though the ALWAYS have to copy the date), decide whether to number the sentences they’re copying even if they’re numbered on their board or if it’s completely irrelevant, and so on.  They need constant affirmation and they need you to tell them what to do every step of the way.  (This could also, however, be partly a result of constantly being badgered for not doing everything exactly right.)

There is one student (a favorite of mine) who is capable of making his own decisions when doing assignments.  This means that sometimes he makes the wrong one for something that is relevant and he ends up getting some points off or having to do it all over again.  He is also the most intelligent individual in my class.