Comments on: Individualism, bad books, and conflict resolution

By: Forcing creativity « Seriously?

Forcing creativity « Seriously? — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:23:17 +0000

[...] that supposed to be the time when you have the wildest imagination? I mentioned it in an earlier post, after discovering when I asked my third-graders what they wanted to be when they grew up, that no [...]

By: You weren’t popular. « Seriously?

You weren’t popular. « Seriously? — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 12:59:31 +0000

[...] mentioned in a recent post, Individualism, bad books, and conflict resolution, that Spain, or at least Madrid, seems to have a different, less rigid system of social hierarchies [...]

By: rocketqueen

rocketqueen — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:43:30 +0000

Ok, so I am totally guilty of criticizing my kids for not coloring inside the lines of their coloring books. Get out the wet noodle. I’m really glad that you pointed this out to me. I’ve always considered coloring in the lines an exercising in neatness. I now realize that coloring should be an exercise in creativity. There are other venues through which to hammer my kids about being neat (don’t worry- I’ll find them). Yesterday Ellie brought home a new folder from school and she asked me if she could color on it and decorate it. Before reading this blog, I would have told her no and that she should keep it “nice.” But now, I instead told her that it was her folder and she could decorate it however she’d like. Thank you, Marta! You’re saving the world- one child at a time.

By: Don

Don — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 08:43:52 +0000

Regarding the apparent lack of individual initiative on the part of your students, it is possible that it’s somewhat unique to your particular cohort of students. My sister taught elementary school for over 30 years, and she observed that some classes seemed overall brighter and more capable than usual, while others seemed to be comprised of children who’d been kept in a closet for most of their lives.

However, the strange (to me) Spanish attitude toward movie credits might be indicative of a significant cultural difference. I’d be curious to know what is currently normal behavior of Spanish soccer (futbol?) players on the field when they score a goal. Generally when I see video clips of foreign soccer games, a goal scorer races at breakneck speed across the field, yelling, arms in air, sometimes taking his shirt off, in displays that rival American athletes in their narcissistic self-celebration.

I feel sorry for the kids in the Spanish classes who are chastized for drawing “incorrectly” at the age of 8. It’s hard to think of more inappropriate if not abusive attitudes on the part of a teacher. For some reason the teacher(s) are approaching a subjective activity (art) from the same standpoint as calculating 2+2, but this may well reflect a profound ignorance of what art is as much as anything else. I’m prompted to wonder if the hesitancy to make a decision on even trivial matters that you’ve noticed is directly related to the abuse their teachers have heaped on them for making “mistakes.” Few things are as injurious to a child’s natural sense of wonder and initiative than constant belittling criticism.

I would guess that many Spaniards would assert that the authoritarian effects of the decades of Franco’s rule would have dissipated by now, but authoritarian regimes are always going to receive cultural support from that percentage of the population that is psychologically inclined to authoritarian repression. Perhaps those attitudes are more entrenched in the educational system than is officially recognized. Widespread cultural attitudes take a long time to disappear, regardless of how officially discredited they are.

By: rocketqueen

rocketqueen — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:39:04 +0000

What thought-provoking insights!
Regarding the notion of teaching children conflict resolution, I can’t help but deposit my 2 cents.
At the risk of tooting my own horn, I feel strongly that it is a parent’s responsibility to prepare their child for life. Life is full of conflict, so parents behoove their children when they equip them with the skills to deal. Not to mention that parents are doing themselves a favor when they allow kids to mitigate their own conflicts. If I didn’t allow my kids to, within reason, work it out amongst themselves, I would be constantly playing referee- not fun for me.
With exceptions, of course, I work with my children just as if I work with an adult. For example, I don’t think speech impediments are cute in adults so I don’t think it’s cute when a kid has a lisp or can’t pronounce elephant. As an adult, we can’t always go running to someone else when someone has wronged us. We must figure out how to singularly deal with that person. My job as a parent isn’t to mold children into how I want them to be, and I don’t want my children to be my pets. So, while they’re receptive and while I can, I must take the opportunity to teach them to be successful adults- not complacent and tolerable children. To that end, children need to know how to deal with disappointment in addition to conflict. I felt terribly sad for my son when he realized that his new Batman gloves didn’t have “powers.” But I was happy for him that he is now a little bit more prepared for his life that will surely be filled with equally disappointing moments.
Moving on to individualism- do you ever read Dear Abby? Make fun of me if you want, but that woman gives good advice. Recently, there was a letter from a new mother who was eaten up with guilt because she was bored to death and hated to play with her 8 month old son. I felt so sorry for her. New mothers are pressured to feel enamored by their baby’s every sound, milestone, and bowel movement. But -surprise- not all mother’s suffice on this new and for the most part lesser intellectual stimulation. Women often lose their identity when they become mothers. They cease to be fun, available, hot, history buffs, water skiiers, or whatever else they were pre-baby. They become Baby’s Mom, and if they don’t breastfeed until the child is in Kindgarten and if their outgoing voicemail message doesn’t identify them as Baby’s Mom instead of their real name, and if they aren’t blissfully happy with this new title, then they are selfish. It is an actual fight to regain an individual identity. How sad that motherhood is an attack on individuality.